Things you thought you'd never hear.

Thye office I work in is quite small... There's 6 people, open plan stylez. Yup, stylez.
For a small office we have a lot of weird shit happen. You know when sometimes you say or hear things and think 'I don't think I'll ever hear that again in my life.'?
Well I had at least three o0f those moments this week.

1) 'I've told them about this before; bill it to the Russians.'

2) 'Yes, the Koreans are coming in for a meeting tomorrow.'

3) 'So she said, sure, we'll look after the Chinese ambassador's daughter for a few days.'

Anyone would think I worked in the National Office of Communist Empathisers.
But no, this is at the Design Business Association...
It turns out too, that it was Good Korea, not Bad Korea that came in for the meeting. They were so nice that they actually brought gifts including a nifty cap with the Korean Design Association logo emblazoned on the front and the words 'Korean Power' embroidered on the side. Awesome. Makes me feel all fervent and nationalistic. Or something.
I also got taken off my contract with the DBA this week and offered a permanent position as Events Coordinator, which is awesome. I get to travel all over England and Scotland organising events and other such things for designers... Should be interesting, especially considering my complete lack of events management experience, but they seem confident I'll pick it up ok.
If I'm unemployed in a week, you'll know I've failed.
Meh, I'm rambling...
Charlotte and I are going to see (or have planned to at this point anyway)Adam Hills tonight. He's the guy off Spicks and Specks. Should be funny I think.
Haven't done much else- Fulfilled my life's dream of sitting at the front of the top level of a double decker bus last weekend. Saw the sights and took a heap of photos which I'll upload to my flickr page when I get a chance.
More exciting posts to come in the near future. (fingers crossed)

Krishnas And Other Things

I'm writing again.
Hello.
Have been busy with work, organising an Internation Design Awards thingy among a million billion other things.
Still not a great deal going on.
Went out for dinner/cheap cocktails on Friday night. Do not eat Mexican-English fusion food/drinks. Rubbish. But it may have made us a little tipsy. As did the cider by the thames, which was quite nice and serene.
Saturday, Charlotte's friend Bec came and stayed with us. Some more drinks. Went to the Walkabout (yes, I wasn't to keen on this idea, but was meeting people there) in the city to meet up with Sean, Dean and Matty from the snow. Was good to catch up for a few beers.
On the way out of the Walkabout, got caught in a passing joy of Hare Krishnas. I have made 'joy' the official collective noun for a group of Krishnas.
They sang (repetetively) and danced (jumped and waved) and we walked behind them. Strangely I felt no urge to shave my head and wear a toga and judging by this group of Kirshnas, a life filled with joy doesn't smell very nice.

We then went to Masala zone and had some awesome Indian. Yum.

Sunday, lay around in the local park in which we discovered there is a paddling pool. Which is awesome news, since I'm not yet adjusted to the warm weather again. Then we caught up with another friend, Nick and had more cider in the beer garden at the local. Then went out for Thai.
Good, lazy weekend.

In other news, on the way to work this morning some guy in a suit was sitting on the ground surrounded by police and paramedics. He looked really confused and kept saying 'I fell down the stairs? Did I really?'
I found that funny for some reason. He was definitely perplexed as to why all these important people were suddenly helping him..

Anyways, sorry this is such a boring post... Charlotte and I are looking at setting some dates to start travelling. We're thinking maybe Greek Islands or Spain or Ireland.
I'm sure you're all dying from the suspense (pffft), so I'll let you know as soon as we have a trip planned.

I have to go and call Pay Pal now to talk to them about fixing payment gateways on our website. Much fun.

Heading North

Friday.
Lunch break at work.
It's hot. (by English standards)
Charlotte and I are heading up to Northampton for the weekend to visit her Aunty and Uncle.
I'm looking forward to getting out of London for a while and seeing some of the English countryside. Will be taking plenty of photos and the like.
Apparently there's quite a bit of history around the area- battlegrounds from the War of the Roses, medieval underground tunnel systems, ruins from the iron age and other such things that could be made into a crap book by Dan Brown. I won't be making a book, but maybe will look at things and nod appreciateively.
Must be getting back to work.
Also, bank holiday Monday- Long Weekend!

And a good morning to you sir!

I awoke this morning, usual time... Begrudgingly slid out of bed and shuffled into the bathroom.
I was enjoying the invigorating properties of hot running water when there was a knock on the bathroom door. I'd been in the shower for 5 mins at the max.
I yelled out with the old 'Yeaap, what?'
No answer. I shrugged and thought one of my flatmates was being a bit rude, but it didn't bother me.
Knock knock.
'Yes, what??' (Slightly more aggravated this time)
Still nothing. I was annoyed by the lack of consideration displayed by my flatmates. Whilst pondering the possible need for immediate access to the bathroom ('upset stomach', plaque eradication, morning number ones) there was another knock.
That was the final straw. I jumped out, threw my towel around me and opened the door.
Boy, was I going to give some evil words and/or looks to the impatient person on the other side.
Instead of an impatient flatmate, I was greeted by around 10 people clad in police uniform, bulletproof vests, walkie talkies and utility belts.
Um... hello.
I thought of all the reasons that my house could be filled by such people. Do I live in a crack den? No. Have I been storing weapons grade plutonium? Don't think so. Maybe it's because we've been neglecting our basil plant and they've come to take it into foster care. Possibly.

A man whose badge identified him as belonging to UK Immigration very sternly and quickly questioned me: 'What room are you in? What's your name? Where are you from?
Meanwhile, I'm dripping wet looking around at the SWAT team that has suddenly materialised in our hallway and trying not to laugh.
'I'm in the front room. My name's Jeremy. I'm from Australia.'
He then peered into the bathroom, probably to see if I was harbouring any illegal immigrants. Once he realised our bathroom is essentially a shoebox filled with porcelain and tiles and that I wasn't trying to help Pablo out a window, he relaxed a bit.
In a perfect twist of fate, to back up my story I was wearing my Australian flag bath towel. (A little too convenient, I bet they thought.) Luckily I'd decided not to wear my 'Unauthorised Border Crossing Convention 07' commemorative towel.
Anyways, I got hustled into our room... They ran around through our house for a while, checked my passport and best of all, I thought, jovially said 'Well you check out, we'll have to arrest someone else.' Awesome.

They then left as quick as they came, leaving us a receipt of their search warrant and an overwhelming feeling of complete bewilderment. And possibly some hidden surveillance devices. Paranoia!!!

This has made my year. I couldn't think of a better way to start my Friday.

Footnote: In case UK Immigration is tapping our wireless, I don't know anyone called Pablo, i'm just using racial stereotypes, no one by that name lives here. Ok, thanks.

Proper Work

Finally I've progressed from retro work to normal work.
Have spent Friday and today at a IT Recruitment agency answering phones, which has been a piece of cake- nice, easy work.
Start my three month Programmes Coordinator contract tomorrow with the DBA which is a really cool little company that hooks designers up with businesses and gives them a heap of resources and assistance with the business side of design projects.
Really looking forward to it as the place, people and position seem really cool.
More on that to come once I get into it...

In other news, things that have gone on over the last week or so:
- Saw Spiderman 3 on the weekend
- Had dinner at Wagamamas and Gourmet Burger Kitchen
- Charlotte and I made home-made pasties, apple crumble, roast vegetables, haloumi and salami on ciabatta, lasagne and other extremely awesome things i can't remember.
- I got ambushed by some missionaries who knocked on my door. They asked me what i thought about the growing social divide between rich and poor. I was perplexed as to why some strangers would want my opinions on such matters. I thought maybe they could just sense my wisdom as they walked past the house, but that seemed unlikely. Our walls are pretty thick.
I told them what I thought anyways and they asked me how the problem could be fixed, so I went into a bit of a rant about governments forming a united front and acting compassionately and ethically and blah blah blah. The woman looked at me and nodded vacantly. Then she pulled out a bible and asked if she could red some appropriate passages to me. I then told her of my love of S&M, my penchant for not resting on Sundays and my constant blashpemy. She smiled and left and i smiled and went back to reading my book on the Dark Arts.
Nah, not really... but it sounds more exciting doesn't it?

Retro Work

So, I've been at this 'emergency' temp job for a few days now and FAR OUT am I over it.
Only two days to go....
It's an electrical engineering company comprised of 4 older guys. They don't use computers.
Unfortunately, the rest of the world does and so my job is as follows:
When an email arrives, I print one copy of the email and any attachments and put it on the desk of whoever it is addressed to. (They only have one email address for the entire company) I then print another copy and file it in a folder called 'Email In'
I then get handed back a piece of paper with instructions on composing a repsonse to this email. I do up a draft of the email, print it out, show it to whoever I'm writing it on behalf of, they approve it or make changes and then I send the email. Then i print a copy of the sent email and put it in the 'Email Out' folder.
WTF!? This is demeaning and frustrating and totally unnecessary. If you can come up with an entire wiring sysytem for a new hotel, I'm sure you can work out how to use a computer.
Seriously, why bother having a computer at all if you're going to print out every single thing at least three times. I'm printing out enough paper each day here to drive at least two species into extinction through deforestation. I have blood on my hands.
Also, having never used computers, my boss's concept of changing the entire layout of a complex spreadhseet involves asking me to just 're-jig' things. Re-jig. I wonder if anyone ever asks him to 're-jig' his work after it's sealed into the walls of a new hotel.
Luckily I start a three month contract next week in a bigger, better office of the future where they have futuristic things like computers, emails, automobiles and bagels.

Wow, I'm good at whingeing!

On the upside, had a very nice long weekend- went to Camden Markets, bought some new Vans, went to a friend's house, ate lots of nice food, drank lots of cider, watched some good movies and relaxed.
Hooray for weekends.

Now I'm off to print this post off and file it under 'Company Time- Wasted'

I will have a sufficient reliable income within a week too and as such will be able to afford to do way more interesting things, so I can promise that this blog will get more exciting soon. In the meantime, why don't you cry about it.

New(ish) look blog now with more Crazy Guy stories

I decided to pretty this page up a bit. A little bit more colour for the showing. The photo at the top is from out the front of our old house in Vermont. Neat!

Also, I forgot about the crazy guy I encountered on the tube the other day.

Quietly, I was sat down listening to my ipod on the tube, coming back from an interview when this guy gets on the train. He sits down in the row of seats opposite me. The guy looks like and African Prince. Not as in an heir to Nigerian throne, but like an African version of The Artist Fomerly Known As Prince. Weird, I know!
Anyways, I keep to myself and listen away to some Rise Against.
Then, fatal error, i glance up for a second and see that this guy is ranting and raving about some shite and then the unthinkable happens.
Eye contact.
So he points his finger at me and starts shouting some more. I pop out a headphone and give him the 'Sorry, what?' look and he continues on with this:
'I am black and you will not change that!! No one can make me stop talking!
You will not call me a black bastard again! You call me that again, I WILL DEFEAT YOU!!'

Interesting way to break the ice.
I did wonder what he would defeat me at though. Using my exceptional analytical skills, I chose not to challenge him in high-jump or a 200m sprint. Or a karaoke-off as he really did look like Prince.
I probably could have beaten him at frisbee but I wan't certain.
I decided not to call him a black bastard and instead gave him the "I'm totally cool with that, crazy dude!" look and put my headphone back in.
He got off at the next station still shouting declarations of random nonsense.
I watched him crash through people whilst gesturing wildly and felt quite good about my sanity.

Work and What-not

I've been doing some work finally.
Not much mind you, but nonetheless I have spent some days doing the thing where I do tasks in exchange for money. No, not those sort of tasks.
I did a couple of days with a marketing company. I spent one day with them standing on a stall at a careers expo at Greenwich University telling grad students about some book and stuff that we had or whatever. It wasn't all that exciting but they were nice people.
I was then offered work there for 4 more weeks, which i would have accepted however I had some interviews scheduled for early this week, so I had to do those.
One was for a Recruitment Coordinator position. Which seemed interesting however I haven't really recruited people for anything except participation in a few beers at the pub/park, so my experience was sorely lacking. Also I didn't really 'click' with the recruiter that well... He wore make-up and was very fruity and poncey and it seemed as though when he walked around the office soufflēs would fall out of his pants and poodles would appear from his pockets. He was one very camp dude.
Then went for an interview as a Sales Administrator, which seemed to go fine, however the feedback I got was that the interviewer thought I maybe gave them them 'right' answers that they wanted to hear... Umm.. No. I just answered the questions. Correctly apparently, but I wouldn't want to employ anyone who answered things correctly. Bah. Also, when i left the next candidate was waiting and I definitely didn't have the anatomical proportions that she had, nor was I showing them off as she was. That's what I put it down to.
Anyways, I then called the other place back about the four weeks of work but they told me that they had re-filled that already (meanwhile I'd knocked back other work becasue of this) and that they didn't have anything else.
So I went from having four weeks of work and two good job prospects to having no prospects and no work. I couldn't have worse luck if I punched a whole village of gypsies.
I got a call this morning from one agency to do some 'emergency work' which, while I formulated the idea of me driving fire-trucks for the day, turned out to be reception work at some tiny place in Clapham. No one calls, the bosses don't use computers so I have to write them notes on a form of pressed wood pulp with some archaic ink filled device and it's very very quiet.

Going for dinner tomorrow night with Charlotte's aunty and uncle which should be good and I found a heap of free exhibitions which seem really cool, so that might be something to do over the weekend. Haven't had a chance to take too many more photos, but I'll be updating my Flickr page with more photos and info and stuff soon.

So here I am, bored but being paid. I think I might be working hard by English standards.

Photos on Flickr

In addition to my list from yesterday, I've been doing some other things.

Last night Charlotte cooked an awesome stir-fry and we had melted Tesco cookies with ice-cream for dessert, then we watched some Futurama.

Today, organised another interview for tomorrow... These people may already have some work lined up for me, which is a bit exciting.

In the meantime, I've signed up to Flickr so i can upload some of my better photos. Y'all can check out more of my photos at the following link:
Jeremy's Flickr Page
(I've also added it as a link in the sidebar on the right for future reference. Boy am I helpful. Also, I'm in the process of updating the titles and tags, so all the images aren't just called IMG 19219.jpg, which looks crap. Just so you know.)

In other news I believe there is a mob of soccer football fans outside this internet cafe somewhere... I hope their team isn't playing against a crack team of redheads or I might be lynched.

An afterthought, maybe tonight we should have melted ANZAC biscuits for dessert. I wonder if they sell them here...hmmm. I'll let you know.
Hold your breath, embrace the suspense....

Things I have been doing lately

• Going to interviews at temping agencies. Seems promising, so hopefully should have some work coming through very shortly
• Opening a bank account
  
• Having my haircut
• Going to see the Cabaret Mechanical Theatre, which is an exhibition of awesome little mechanical things... Will upload pictures which explain better.
• Eating yum dinners cooked by Charlotte and myself
• Enjoying pints in the beer garden of the pub across the road
• Discovering that the best dessert in the world is Tesco choc chip biscuits, heated in the microwave till soft then covered in vanilla ice cream.
• Watching Futurama DVDs
• Watching The Departed, Red Road and some other DVD's... Oh yeah, Pan's Labyrinth
• Listening to Alexisonfire
• Making mental lists of things I want to buy when I have more money.
  
• Sitting in this intenet cafe making a list of things I've been doing.

Soon I'll have mazillions of pounds and will be updating with tales of much excitement. Very soon.

More random pictures

Macs are awesome for imaging and photos and stuff. Charlotte's lil MacBook is rocking out with iPhoto which I have spent many an hour on...
Such a handy little application.
Anyways, some pictures... Things look so much better after a little 'touch-up'


The London Eye from below.


Big Ben and Little Charlotte


Yes, terrible isn't it. Dog mess.


The view from our balcony in one of the hostels we were staying at in Earl's Court. Long exposure shots are fun.


A little alleyway of Gloucester Road in Earls Court.


I've got heaps more photos, but will upload more at a later date. It takes too long on the stolen innanets here in the park...

If you're bored though, please do yourself a favour and check out this blog:

Brad's Blog
I love the 'Next Blog' button at the top of blogger pages.
Today I decided to see what the next blog was and was delighted to discover Truetent. Which is a blog by Brad, who is an English (Engrish) major in Korea.. (I think)
Please make visit to Brad to have view of many story on website

Finally!!

This post comes to you from England.
Sunny England in fact. Nice.

Been lots going on since I last posted. The most significant of which is me now being in a different country. Yes, the one with big red buses and big clocks and all that.
England is nice. I was expecting grey skies and the smell of apathy in the air, but it's been warm and pleasant and i'm loving it.

Flew in on the 1st... Got to see my Charlotte (w00t!!) who had a hostel in Earls Court booked for us, so spent a couple of nights there, then, realising we had to get more accommodation as the hostel was booked out we did a mad internet scramble and found another hostel in nearby Bayswater, so packed up and moved all our stuff there. Spent a couple of nights there, then it too was booked out, so found another hostel back in Earls Court and then moved all our stuff back there. Gah! Was pretty crazy times. In between all the moving stuff around we got to do some nice stuff though, spend a day in Kensington Gardens, visit the Victoria and Albert Museum (yeah, the free one) and stroll around south-west London looking at English things like pubs, which I don't think are found anywhere else in the world.
After 4 more nights in the last hostel and much stress, we finally found a place to live in Hammersmith. When I say place, I mean a room in a share-house. Which is nice, although the bathroom smells like wet. So good though, to not have to move all our shit around anymore. I'm very happy about that. Other benefits include close proximity to tube station, heaps of shops, restaurants, the Thames, parks and a nice little pub with a beer garden a mere one minute walk from our house. ahh... beer garden... Not that we have the money to spare to indulge in things like drinks and food at the moment...
Charlotte has quite a bit of work scheduled which is awesome and I am endeavouring to attain some, pending a haricut and suit purchase. Can't wait to start earning the pound and then saving some of it and spending a little.

Currently on our list of things to purchase:
-Pillows (I'm sleeping on a rolled up hoodie)
-Food (I'm hungry)
-Suit and haricut (I'm sure I can find some place which offers those as a package deal)
-A pet bumblebee and an extendable bumblebee lead. Seriously, if for nothing else, come to England to see a bumblebe. They look ridiculous. (I don't actually think I could buy a pet bumblebee, but maybe I just haven't been looking in the right places.)

Hmm...

We haven't really done any tourist type stuff yet, but once we're more fiscally empowered, I think we'll venture out and do some more exciting stuff.
In the meantime, I'm looking at ads for crap jobs with wanky titles; Senior Customer Service Advisor (read: call centre vegetable). I'm also lying in the park, stealing someone innanets and soaking up some English sunshine. Maybe I can get a job writing ads for recruitment companies:
Requirements: Ability to carry on about some absolute rubbish.

Position Filled!

Anyways, will put up some photos and stuff soon.

Scones and Tea from the Motherland,

JC