Friday, April 11, 2008

Kilts and other things

Hey hey bitches.
Well it's time again for some update-age.
Here's some things that have been going down here in the world of J-Crizzle, listed below in no particular order. Apart from numerical.

1) I spent a couple of days in Edinburgh...
For work related stuff. I managed to slot in some quality sightseeing whist I was there. Edinburgh is awesome. Everyone should go there. (Here's the Photos)
Here's some reasons why I love Edinburgh:

- I climbed the Scott Monument. Awesome panoramic views over the harbour, old town, mountains and castle. On my way back down I noticed the best graffiti ever.
"Peanut woz ere. 15-7-79"
This on the world's largest ever monument created in honour of a writer.
Fucking poetic. Nice one Peanut.

- I swear I've seen Christopher Lambert waiting for a bus at least 5 times. It's disconcerting to say the least. One guy even grabbed me and said "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!... more minute until this bus arrives, I've been waiting for ages."
I'm lying again. But seriously, there's heaps of dudes that look like they're an Immortal from Highlander.

- Through a completely random series of occurrences, I just snapped myself a photo of the First Minister of Scotland (Which is their version of a Prime Minister) arm in arm with two guys who were protesting against the proposed changes to Scottish immigration law which will mean no more Curry chefs will be allowed to migrate from India. Or something to that effect. Anyways, I somehow found myself out the front of the Scottish Parliament, then I saw these guys with funny hats holding boards with all kinds of wicked slogans like "Save Curry!" The next thing I know I see them all huddled around someone and I think "CAPTAIN CURRY HAS COME TO SAVE THEM"
But no, it's the prime minister of fucking Scotland, wearing a little white curry chef's hat hugging all these Indian dudes. I took a photo because it's not every day you see the leader of a nation hugging a guy who's occupation involves giving people diarrhoea.

- I found a shop that sells Scottish souvenirs called 'Thistle do nicely'. Best regional-based store-name pun so far.

- I threw a pebble at a pigeon and hit it.

- There's a massive number of gingers over there. They have hair that's like, blazing red. Hair which makes me look like a brunette.
Finally I feel like I fit in. It's like I'm a monkey that was separated from my monkey crew when I was a monkey baby and made to walk around crashing cymbals together and wearing a fez and now I've finally been reunited with my kin. Although now I don't smell like my monkey brethren, so they all claw and bite my face and throw their stinky monkey shit at me. Umm.. yeah.

- I had a completely insane, muttering Scotsman walk past me, turn around and shout "YOUR HAT! I LIKE YOUR HAT! NICE HAT!!!"
Thanks McDude! I'd high-five you but I think you have a syringe stuck in your fingerless gloves. Now I think of it- The whole hat compliment didn't really make my day. It upset me. Receiving compliments about your fashion sense from a crazy homeless guy is like having Heath Ledger compliment you on your medication management.

So yes, Edinburgh = good.


2) I have an extra job now.
It involves me working in a call centre on weeknights and saturdays calling old people and convincing them to give me their bank details. This is basically how I spend my spare time anyways, so no big changes here.

3) The reason I have an extra job is...
Charlotte and I are saving up hardcore as on a whim we've decided to extend our travels. So just to make sure you're all thoroughly bored, here's how we're gonna roll.

30 June: Fly out to Italy, spend a few days checking out the sights, then ferry our pasta filled asses across to Croatia where we intend to go sailing around the islands for 8 days. Then we head up and go all through Europe, buy bad souvenirs, drink weird liquor that makes your kidneys cry and (this one doesn't apply to Charlotte) grow some facial hair because that's what you do when you're a backpacker, right?

Sometime later... Probably around the middle of August: Arrive back in the UK, kick it around UK, Scotland and Ireland for a bit and then...

2 September: Fly over to Mumbai with an airline that has the safety features of a wheelbarrow. Then make our way through India, via Goa, Agra and various other locations until the..

19 September: ...when we fly to Hong Kong. Then we work our way through China, into Vietnam and spend a cruisy 6-8 weeks working our way through Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Thailand, Malaysia and Singapore, where finally on the...

11 November: We go see our good friends at Jetstar who will fly us back to The Land of Melbournia, via the "internationally recognised, jewel of the southern hemisphere"; Darwin. (I made that up. Apparently Darwin's shit. We only stop there for an hour)

Then we come home to a ticker-tape parade where John So will shake our hands and say something like "Wacom ba to Mahbon!" and people will cheer and we'll be on Today Tonight because then it will be discovered we caught bird flu in Asia and John So is in hospital after having contracted it from my over-enthusiastic hand shaking.
Hooray.

What's everyone else doing?
Write comments or I'll go on a facebook rampage and sent you all 100,000 invitations to stupid shit like "Werewolf FunWall Pirate Wars" or some other lame-ass shit.

You've been warned.

1 comment:

Emilie said...

Hey hey J-Dog,

How goes it?

I flipping hate England. Why did you come here....are you mad?

I must say though, the prospect of 'fishcotheque' is totally inspired. Maybe England isn't really that bad after all.

Emilie xx