Thursday, August 23, 2007

Out of the shoebox and into.... the corpse?

We're getting the hell out of our goddam shobox/bedroom/current house.

A new house has been found, 2 bedrooms, big lounge, awesome location, nice landlady who seals the lease with wine... It's got it all.
Moving in with Pinner and Lisa, which will be good- Nice to finally have good company. And a lounge room.
Planning trips to ikea and various other homewares places to give the new place a bit of a personal touch. Meaning, pictures and lamps and stuff, not 'in the pants' personal touch. Eww.
This shitty box-room we've been existing in is about 3m x 4m. There's a bed and a wardobe and a set of drawers. It's been our lounge room, dining room, bedroom, laundry...
We've been like insects stuck in a tiny little glass box that some fat little kid keeps tapping with his stubby little sausage fingers.

Which reminds me:
Some guy in Berlin got bitten by his pet Black Widow spider named Bettina.
He died, then some thing in his pet enclosure blew up, allowing snakes, tarantulas, termites and all manner of scary-ass creatures to escape. Police discovered his body '7-14 days' later, being eaten by these scary-ass creatures. And a gecko named Helmut. Yes, Helmut.
What the hell?!
Crazy germans. Killed by a spider called Bettina, then eaten by a bunch of evil creatures and a gecko called Helmut.
I think Helmut was probably a nice gecko-kid, but wasn't breastfed, or didn't get hugged enough or something. Before his parents knew it, he was hangin' with the 6-leggers. Then those bad-ass 8 leggers. Then before they knew it, little Helmut is tearing large strips of his owner and taking them back to the tarantulas to feast on. (Again, paraphrased from trusty English rag 'The Sun')

Global warming, terrorism, nuclear arms... These are all minor threats compared to the very real possibility of insect/arachnid death squads escaping their confines and eating whoever happens to die in front of them.

You remember that little green gecko in the Bridgestone ads? The ones with Brocky in them?
Next thing you know: Dead Brocky.
Put two and two together and I say Helmut's been a busy little Gecko.

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