Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Dear Metronet/British Government.

You suck.
The both of you. Assholes.
Metronet, who maintain the tube lines over here in joyous London have gone on strike. I think it's over a payrise not being as high as initially suggested, or something to that effect.
I'm not talking about a delay on one afternoon either- This is a 3 day strike running until Thursday.
Surely the government could have stepped in at some stage and negotiated some kind of middleground, but they've allowed it to blow up into this.
Eitherway, I don't care. My tube lines aren't running anymore. And this is potentially as fatal as when a colostomy bag's tube lines aren't running. Eww.
Come to think of it there's probably more effluent in your average train carriage in London, than there is in a colostomy bag.

Anyways, what was a bearable 40 minute commute to work has now become a 1.5hr trek including much walking and two diferent overland trains. Or in the case of Charlotte last night, a 3.5hr journey spread over 3 buses and much walking.
Also, you can only imagine what the crush on the buses/trains/roads is like now.
Usually, it's a full sardine-tin setup of people jammed in, but now everyone is so jammed in, it's more like a Preswswurst situation or some kind of rank dog-food like 'Marrow in aspic' You know, the one where when you tip it out of the can and it comes out can-shaped with all the ridges and stuff still imprinted in it. Yeah, well that's what happens when the doors open on the bus- A big gelatinous blob of humans falls out the door, disassembles into fifteen people and they all head off to work.

The plus side is I'm going through places I didn't know existed. Frognal, for example.
I wonder if it was called Tadpolenal when it was just a village? Sorry, I suck. My puns are suffering at the hands of this stupid transport situation. Or more you're suffering my puns at the hands of this stupid transport situation.

This is a fair representation of the sentiment of most people in London. Caution: contains swearing, including multiple instances of the C and F words, although they are used in a most appropriate fashion.


Charlotte said...

Pfft. There is no excuse EVER for the bad bad word. I'll wash your mouth out with soap.

the almighty jc said...

I didn't say the bad word- It was the flash animation!
Also, aren't you reading Irvine Welsh at the moment?