Tuesday, December 1, 2009

On being a douche

Sometimes It's fun to be a douche. I tried it tonight.
I've been receiving emails every now and then from a car dealership who must have the wrong email address for one of their customers...
They sent me an email today to let me know that I had nearly finished the financing of my 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan. (I don't own a 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan)
I decided to be a douche and write a reply. Just for jokes.
Here's how it played out:
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To: Joshua Crowe
Abingdon, MD 21009-3063

Dear Joshua,

Congratulations! In only six months, the term of financing on your 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan from Schaefer and Strohminger will end. You may be interested in looking at a new vehicle and get an idea of the value of your present vehicle. We would like the opportunity to offer you our services once again.

Schaefer and Strohminger offers the highest trade for your current vehicle, and the best, no-hassle purchase experience. Please keep in mind that we represent many manufacturers, including Mazda, Jeep, Dodge, Honda, Hyundai, Pontiac, GMC Truck, Buick, Chrysler and Chevrolet. We also have 400 plus pre-owned cars, trucks, SUVs and vans of all makes and models from which to choose.

Please contact us at the dealership @ 410-893-0600 or email us with any questions or to set up an appointment. You can visit us on-line to view inventory and pricing.

We are excited about helping you with any of your automotive needs.

Sincerely,

Drew Bauer
Trainer

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from: Jeremy Crow
to: sales@sandsauto.com
date: Tue, Dec 1, 2009 at 8:08 PM
subject: Re: Hello from S&S

Hi Drew,
Thanks for the congratulations. I'm Jeremy Crow and I live in Melbourne, Australia. To my knowledge, I haven't financed a 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan from Schaefer and Strominger. Whilst I am intrigued to find out what the value of one of these would be, I'm afraid that due to me not owning one, I probably wouldn't be able to put its value to any use.
I'm sure if you contact Joshua Crowe via another means, he may well be willing to look at upgrading to a new vehicle from one of the many fine manufacturers you represent. You should recommend the Honda Odyssey. It looks like a similar vehicle to the Dodge Grand Caravan and is slightly more expensive, which I'm sure is appealing to you being a car dealer. It will run 25 miles per gallon, which is the same as the Dodge, so I think the thought of upgrading, without increasing his carbon footprint would be a definite pro for Joshua, especially in these ecologically aware times.
The only other thing to take into consideration would be the current economic climate, and the atrophy of wages associated with it. Perhaps you should still push the Honda Odyssey, however keep the 2010 Honda Mazda5 as a fallback option, as it is slightly more affordable.
I'm sure with the trade-in of his current vehicle, Joshua would find such an offer hard to resist.

In summation, I guess what I'm trying to say is I think Joshua Crow has given you an incorrect email address.

Best of luck with your endeavours and I hope that Joshua and yourself can maintain a healthy client-salesman relationship going forward.

Sincerely,

Jeremy Crow
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And that's my fill of being a douche for a while.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

On behalf of the dealership, thank you for your kind reply. Honestly, if that's what passes as Douchery in Melbourne, we might be neighbors soon. The pace of life that allows the crafting such a thoughtful reply to a automated email is not much in evidence in our slice of the northern hemisphere.

jhcrow said...

Hi guys!
Thanks for taking the time to comment! That's awesome. I wrote the email hoping you'd understand it was a bit of fun... Glad to see it was received as intended.
Once this whole GFC business blows over, you guys should set up a dealership in Australia. It's very laid back. Picture it as a working holiday.

Best of luck with everything!

Cheers,
JC

Jay said...

I was thinking you were going to reply pretending to be Joshua and give them a hard time, but instead your email was polite and amusing -- I'd actually like to receive a message like that rather than something that said "screw you losers, you got the wrong guy".